Talk:If You Could Only See/@comment-25598148-20141109203049
I don't bookmark YouTube videos a lot because usually I can just like a video and it'd be good enough for me but I got to this video that rly impacted me yesterday tbh. So yesterday morning I had like the worst morning ever. I was sort of fine just the night before but I got really upset and just like I dunno...I told myself I wanted to pull an all nighter and everything. And I should really apologize for how depressing I am recently. Bc I am. I haven't been taking my pills for weeks (bc my therapist sorta left and I couldn't get perscription). I got just real sad suddenly and I couldn't stay awake. (but sleep pain is no better than awake) And it just got worse in the morning when I woke up. I'm not really going to explain because it's not the sort of thing I'd just say here for anyone to see. But it entailed me crying in public (a lot), and in front of my parents, and them hugging me - which I never do, and they never do... and I just had to lock myself in my room for like 12 hours straight And Now I'm really nervous about going to school tomorrow...I live in a real small town, and I cried in public (was alone and ppl were looking at me ofc) so ppl are gonna be talking about it of course... and just *sigh*. And I just don't wanna be around it. But anyways the video I mentioned is this one. It really, I mean if I didn't see this video I'd probably still be lying down feeling bad and still barricading myself in my room. It has like a quote near the end that really got to me, I dunno... "I want this to be a wake up call to you to know that if you’re not okay, that’s okay but you need to tell somebody. You need to work on it because living every day like you’re drowning is not a way to live." I mean, everyone gets sad and a little depressed it's human. but if i was to ever encounter people calling her or others who reach out whether it be to one person or one million - an attention whore... I will tear them up 100 new and uncomfortable and irrationally placed assholes. As humans we can all get sad but chronic depression is a situation many will not quite understand. Sometimes your sad over something in particular, something bad happened and it was all your fault and is there anything you do to fix it? No. Never is. But other time you just wake up, it's a new day and nothing has changed, you could of gone asleep happy and now your just depressed af and you can't even begin to explain why because you yourself doesn't have a clue in the world. But thats just a fact of life and having a problem the only way to help that is to feel better. And maybe I sound like a hypocrite rn because I always broadcast how much I detest therapy but thats because it's a waste of my time, the real therapy rests within my friends - u guys ... and this is just to say I hate how sad some people have been here recently. is no one's fault of course and naturally I'm one of those ppl~ but I just would like to remind that even if you don't believe in miracles. miracles dont need to be extra terrestrial, unlikely, and other-worldly as they are in cliche...sometimes miracle is as mundane as friendship and that's always here from myself to everyone here. even if i'm closer to others than other people. no matter the degree of closeness. here i am. kikchair, you can sit on me, u can kik me. whatever u want bae, i'll just be sittin here